Today is my 50th day without drinking. A huge change from getting plowed every night, I must say! But, it’s not entirely effortless…
Even though it’s been nearly two months since I’ve had a drink, and overall the process hasn’t been what I’d call “super difficult”, that’s not to say that I’m not tempted to indulge every now and then still.
For example, this past Sunday, I actually had my shoes on, ready to walk to the local liquor store and grab a single can of Pit Bull malt liquor. I had been having a mental argument about whether “one would be OK” since I had just finished spending the most of the day prepping for taxes 🙁
However, I sent a txt to one of my oldest and closest friends that I was struggling with the choice, and he said, “I can understand that you want to celebrate finishing the tax prep, but I’d also hate to see you relapse.”
And with that, I took my shoes off and decided to stay sober. I guess it shows that having the support of friends is pretty helpful, so I can imagine what the mentors (sorry, I don’t know the official name) in AA do for people who are really struggling!
Anyway, I have a family event coming up in the next couple of weeks, where I’ll be faced with a choice whether to socially drink (i.e. not get plastered as family will be around) or not. Being that the event is partially to celebrate my own birthday, my not drinking may raise some eyebrows. I wonder how I’ll choose to handle this, whether I do or do not drink…
Any ideas or suggestions?
I just stumbled upon your site by accident, looking for an employer website with a similar name. I thought “no accidents” and went on reading. Found this particular page and you asked…I just happen to be someone who went into AA in 1994. Here is MY experience, strength and hope, and although I no longer go to meetings nor have a sponsor, I no longer have an issue with alcohol, either.
In the first 10 – 15 years of recovery, my experience is DON’T. Not even one, because the thinking that kept me picking up that beer before hasn’t really changed that much. I had nearly 14 years sober at one point, but found when I had “one beer” that one beer led to the thinking “who cares if I have a beer tonight, I had one last night,” etc. In other words, if you are counting days, it’s easy to relapse once and they just say forget it. However…after many years, I found I could have “a” beer. Or a glass of wine or two in the evening, and leave the entire bottle for up to…two weeks. I did that a few weeks ago.
This has taken nearly 20 years of my life to get to this point, however…and most of that 20 years has been sober. In the brief relapses I had (at 3 years, then at nearly 14 years) I wasn’t ready, and it went back to daily drinking really fast.
If it is NOT that hard for you to keep adding days sober, by all means, do it! Sobriety has much to offer…it gets better and better…and I suggest you do go to a meeting, maybe not to learn anything from anyone but to be as support/help to fellows who are actually struggling with quitting. You are someone who could really help others right now who are really struggling! Good luck 🙂